Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
well i just got discharged from the hospital after getting pegged in the head by a t-shirt gun so thats how my night was.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was more like a tour de entire bottle of wine in 14 minutes
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
this morning's inventory: a top hat, two empty bottles of everclear, half a slim jim, cigars, tiara, pot necklace, and some fishnets. and that's just my purse.
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