You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I forgot to pack a bra for work today...you would not believe the extremes i've had to go through in order to keep these nips from my coworkers
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
Blacked out drunk in California and woke up somewhere in Arizona, I'm pretty sure I got here on foot
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
