Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
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