alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She had to get her inhaler in the middle of fucking...but she kept it in.
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't act like you're a victim to marijuana
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
I'm sorry I keep drunk texting your boyfriend sports updates.
That's okay. He needs friends too.
Today is get drunk without showing anyone my penis day
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
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