she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
just watched a cripple ollie in his wheelchair to get on to the elevated floor in the bar. I. LOVE. WISCONSIN
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
