I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
I'm sorry. Both for you two breaking up and because I just ate some of your cheez it's.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Congrats. You are not detrimental enough to my psyche to be discussed during this mornings therapy appointment. Please follow up next week to see if you made the cut.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
As a rule...I don't sleep with my friends or watch movies with talking dogs
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
Complete and utter failure. 100% unsalvageable. I have not failed so hard at a culinary endeavor in YEARS. MY HONOR IS IMPUGNED I HAVE SHAMED MY HOUSE
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