She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Randomize
