? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
You know you drink too much when the bartender at your favorite bar recognizes you at chipotle with your sunglasses on.
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
Randomize
