Me too!
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Passed out on her toilet. Dog licked my face to wake me. Awkward talk with her boyfriend, who hadn't been home last night. Not sure exactly what town I'm in, but I'm south. Will call for ride when I figure it out.
riding the spinning bikes at the rec after Valentines Day was a baaddddd idea
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
He sent me an email apologizing for sleeping with her...and by that I mean he sent a picture of his dick to my school e-mail
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I can't take my grandparents out somewhere where I've fucked half the staff.
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
