my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
I walked out of the store holding my face and a lady pulled her daughter away from me as I then threwup in the parking lot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
I texted her mom a picture of us doing it saying "I'm trying to make your daughter just like you!" she was not amused.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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