his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
you know how you have to have just the right ratio of chips to sandwich? same goes for pubes.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I'd cum for enchiladas.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
