This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Randomize