no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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