Guess what I'm doing tomorrow?
Becoming a productive member of society?
Sam. Come on.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Hello my rib-scented angel!
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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