This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
I'm watching the Australian Open. They need to slow the fuck down. It's hard enough to follow sober and now it's just pissing me off.
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
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