the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
She got up, grabbed me a box of gushers told me to start eating, and immediately gave me the best head I've ever gotten.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
