what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
eating toast while peeing. You think this what kanye meant by the good life?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
So it turns out high me is very efficient. I set 5 alarms to remind me to do things, i made mac and cheese, and i wrote a poem. I'm going places.
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
Randomize
