So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He's my palate cleanser. He's my mint sorbet. He's my saltine cracker. He's who I fuck between people to make the next one better.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Randomize
