I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
I remember saying your puke looked like a jellyfish and you got very offended.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
Randomize
