U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
He should be on Bizare Foods after who he ate last night
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
let me just inform you that suppository-ing xanax is glorious
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
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