I found a vibrator in my car and it's not mine...this is becoming a weird day.
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Also, I might need your help for a prank involving a hand puppet, a coke bottle, double-sided tape, and my dick...
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
Whatever. I hate you. My vagina hates you. I hope a bird shits on your head today.
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
Randomize
