But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
high people should be assigned attendants
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
You drunk dialed me and told me to jump out of my second story window so I could give you head. I almost considered it.
Gong!
YOU'RE MARRIED NOW YOU CAN'T KEEP GONGING ME WHEN YOU GET LAID IT DOESN'T COUNT
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
What am I supposed to say? "Oh hey, I can't go out with you tonight because I can't picture myself sleeping with you and I was high and just trying to be nice when I said yes"?
Sorry I threw up all over your Lyft.
It's ok I woke up next to a dumpster.
Randomize
