Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
I can't tell if my need for dick is more than my want to strangle him
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
He was walking around and kept offering the neighbors flamingo lawn ornaments shots of vodka.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize