people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
Randomize
