is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I walked in on him fucking her whilst she ate skittles. I saw things no one should see, but I did get your bra back. You owe me.
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
Randomize
