Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
It's chlamydia! Thank God!
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Just don't do anything stupid
i did a stupid sorry
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
