STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
I just got off a plane from Mexico. At least 15 passengers dashed to the bathroom throughout the flight. Can you tell its spring break?
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
You know I ate twenty hot dogs in an hour once.
I am honestly so surprised you are a lesbian.
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
