Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I ate pizza in bed, sans pants, and then carved a pumpkin. FUNCTIONING ADULT MOTHERFUCKERS!
I have chicken nuggets, lube and brand new batteries, he can stay at work charting all weekend for all I care, I'm set.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
Either it didn’t do much damage or I’ve lost all feeling in my asshole
Randomize
