I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Its that time of week again, Bad life decision wednesday
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
That's okay, during storytime I would have to sit on my hands so I wouldn't touch everyone. Explains a lot...
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
I'm about to order this penis-casting kit so text me within 5 mins if you're not down
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
Randomize
