We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Dry humping a girl for an hour and then jizzing in your pants doesn't count as losing it.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
I asked you how much you drank and you replied with "I don't know what kind of toothpaste I use."
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
Crop dusting thru forever 21
Randomize
