you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
Pretending to be completely fried so the odd girl next to me doesnt suspect im simply staring at her.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
Are you saying I'm your favorite hot mess?
I'm actually my favorite my hot mess, but you're a close second.
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
You said "I feel like a koala bear. Do you ever just feel like a koala bear?" This is your brain on drugs.
Randomize
