Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
the condom got lost in my hair
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
In other news, just had to pluck an ingrown pub with the pliers from my multi tool while sitting on the toilet at work.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
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