Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
He's interpretive dancing to Crazy by Britney Spears and expressing his feelings for either me or the guy next to us
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Weddings might be fun but they are not getting fucked in the wilderness fun.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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