I feel dirty and I went home alone. Bars should be like airlines and make fat girls pay double for everything.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize
