He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we should paint friendship bongs
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