Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
So apparently I tried texting you last night to tell you I wasn't coming home, but all I had typed were lyrics from Evita
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
Randomize
