Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
the boobs are fake... i feel like i just found out santa isn't real.
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
