well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I incognito puked under the VIP table. Did Jersey proud.
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
Randomize
