There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
25 Of The Most Common Life Mistakes Young People Make
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
25 People Confess What They Really Think When They See An Obese Person
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
You thought you were Snapchating on your tablet, but were really just poking John Stamos' face on my Full House dvd case...