This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.