love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
These Attractive Criminals Got Modeling Contracts After Getting Arrested
Her tits were the only thing that upgraded her from "no way in fuck" to "drunken mistake"
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
He fucked a girl named Oreo... He deserved syphilis.
This Girl’s Unbelievable Catfish Story Will Make You Rethink Online Dating
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
She's impossible to please. Other than with two fingers and a tongue.
Interesting occurrence: the application I use to keep track of my periods and sexual encounters just notified me it had been over 4 months since you were logged as an active partner and ask if I'd like to remove you from my options. Wow, kmsl.
I found my grandmother's vibrator, how was your day?
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.