An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
just found more coke in my pocket. i love not washing my jeans after every individual use.
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Until they make a bed that bathes you in your sleep, I will not be satisfied.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Fuck you know you drunk when you start signing the Masson impossjvke song to entourage yourself to pee
Just puked most of my soul out..
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize