I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
ejected that DVD during the department meeting.. it was our porn from last night. I have a new nick-name at work.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
Just to an Octoberfest and a sex party. Nothing wild.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
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