He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just watched a porn with the dvd commentary on i think i need to re-evaluate my life
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
You would critique a dick pic. Damn art people.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
