Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
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