:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
She made me pour olive oil on her.
Randomize
