12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse, I think shes the one.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Randomize
