oh god the rape fog is back!
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
At dinner I grabbed his hand and he screamed "mom she just grabbed my penis" the proceeded to shove my hand down his pants! Hello Mr.Dick!
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
There was a punch bowl full of straight vodka. Glass bowl, ladle, vodka, and no punch at all. It was something of a rough night
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
One of the guys I danced with wanted to give me his number so I convinced him I had a photographic memory and that I would remember it.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
am i the only one who finds it a little awkward seeing as we all made out last night?
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