He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
If 26 stitches didn't sober her up, nothing will.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Enroute to my place eta 6 mikes...estimated time until intoxicated? 45 mikes. Commence the timer.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Why was I so drunk last night that I licked the bar and then the bartenders face? Why didn't you stop me? We can never go back there.
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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