Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
turns out putting a tie on my unicorn onesie didn't make it acceptable "formal wear" and I found salsa in my cup holder
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
First walk of shame in 18 years. Divorce is going well.
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