Ambien. No doubt about it.
only my mom would pack illegal paraphernalia in a care package..
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
She asked me if I would fuck her with my storm trooper mask on
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
Randomize
