Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Apparently i was peeing on things and marking my territory. I broke their light socket too. Needless to say im banned from their apartment.
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
I tried to sit on a barstool last night...it was an open trashcan.
Seriously! We need to take her a thank you note or something. She puts up with the drugs and the extremely loud sex. She deserves a thank you card.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
I had phone sex with a retiree last night. This is not how I envisioned my 20s going...
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
Just Peed in a cup for my country. Fighting the good fight.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
Randomize
