Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
So he says "lean over this" which is a chain across the doorway, held into the wall with bolts. I do. Then he puts his weight on top of me to try and get it in.
It breaks. We fall.
I now have a broken nose, a concussion, and an infected, split lip. Why do I have the worst luck in guys?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
At the hospital. Forgot we locked Eric out of the house last night as a joke. Hypothermia's a bitch.
I swear they were about to hook up!!
I know because I was in the tub taking an imaginary silent bath. They stopped cuz I gagged on my shot.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
i left you alone for two hours TWO HOURS & when i got back i had to rush you to the hospital because you were covered in Smooth Away pads & drinking the bong water..
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
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