He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
It's official. I'm a squirter. Wasn't a one time thing.
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I believe the question is can one ever have too many vibrators?
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize