i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
You had a beer at 10:30 this morning?
Ya, I didn't have any Tylenol.
My body has become completely dependent on Text Twist. I can't poop without it.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
She calls me Shortcake and bites my ear. Trust me, I'm FINE with bein the secret lesbian lover.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
