we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
Randomize
