just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I have to fuck proof my bed. It was in the middle of the room this time.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
Standards are awful. It's like living in the zombie apocalypse. You can only have sex with certain people
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
If by date you mean washing Pizza house down with a bottle of wine, then yes I have a date.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
