yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like my teeth are caked on with other teeth. What did I just smoke?
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
I flashed the bar tender last night. Apparently I wanted a whiskey to go and that was the golden ticket. This is why I never come home
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
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