So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
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I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
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We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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