I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
I still can't believe a guy pooped in my backyard
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
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