Porn is love you can see.
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I see your smile in the face of every drunk that senses he's about to slay a troll.
Are you responsible for the syringes and miniature cactus garden that has magically taken over my fridge?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
So I may have to sleep with a cougar to get a slightly used, yet free microwave. I'm going in
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
Randomize
