hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Welcome to the single world where it seems vibrator batteries are in short supply and making a sandwich while naked at 2am is relatively normal
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Someone put pennies in the toilet. This isn't a fucking wishing well
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
Randomize
