They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
I walk of shamed back from his dorm in costume while his dad and brother were waiting outside to drive him home. his dad apologized to me. my life never gets old.
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
If the egyptians can build pryamids men can walk on the moon and ron jeremy can sleep with all those bitches then we can finish these three handles of vodka
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
i came so much i feel like i were to try again, only dust would come out. and maybe glitter
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