you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
This band has the most fuckable violin player I have ever seen.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
Randomize
