Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
Let's get drunk and put things on the grill that have no right to be there.
Happy birthday, America.
Can we just agree for a moment that semen in your sinuses is the fucking worst?
I look excited, but its just a facade.
dude idk where I am. fuckin like. there wheat field and a horizon and shit. I think I got on a bus? some dude named Sam gave me a pamphlet about Jesus.
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
I was so drunk I got motion sickness from sex.
Randomize
