he suggested i make a website called "cum on molly's face", to "start off my acting career"
ugh. people who use coupons make me wanna punch a baby.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Nothings harder than putting on a frozen condom.. or should I say softer
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
Randomize
