pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
As sure as my left ball is bigger then my right. We will have our moment.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
I'll just say I told you so at your funeral
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
The man at the checkout said "Somebody's not fucking around".
It's gonna be a good night
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
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