she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
