and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Shame is for Republicans.
Randomize
