well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
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Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
Well be careful man. Be careful. Wear shoes in the house. Safety. Safety first, then teamwork.
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she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Stay calm. It's a titty bar. A ring of cocaine will protect you.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm not dealing with this wiskey dick shit, 2016 is the year of hard dicks
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
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