yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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