That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
A guy dressed like Jesus just gave me a mini keg. Prayers really do come true.
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I just want to know who nailed the chicken nugget to the door.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
I'm going to be such a slut in Europe I've already decided
Send me dick pics. We'll make a scrap book
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
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