I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
We just fucked each other sober. #goteam
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
there is glitter all over my balls
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Some guy at the bar last night bought us Arrowhead water and I was so drunk, it tasted good
Randomize
