Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Girl in my public speaking class just gave a speech on weaves, God I love community college
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
