they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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