I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
I got her a Nickelback box set.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Wait.....I ate a raw potato lastnight.
Your cock has been in the back of my throat. Co-worker is no longer a sufficient title. Fix that shit ASAP
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
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