I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
You bought champagne and told everyone it was because I'd just found out I was pregnant. How exactly is that being a good wingman?
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
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