his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Having boobs is probably the greatest thing in the world, free booze all around
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
If they start to date again I refuse to help her sext him. Helping my mom sext my dad is where I draw the line.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
