Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
Make the kitchen floor stop waving. Im trying to lay on it
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
Seriously, this apartment is covered in body glitter. This chick musta been a huuuuuge slut. How do you get it across every surface?
Do you have any forwarding contact info?
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I think I had Hypothermia but was too drunk to notice.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
