At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
Heard at work: Get out of my face before I cuntpunch you so hard your granddaughters have miscarriages. I love my job.
I'm moving there. Get me hired.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
REWARD BLOWJOB!! STAY RIGHT WHERE YOU ARE I'LL BE THERE IN FIVE MINUTES.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
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