It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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