If you're on a tempurpedic mattress do you think you can feel if someone is jacking off right next to you?
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
How's work?
Spinning.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
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